


notes on an Out of Oz session

by felicities



Category: Broadway RPF, Wicked - All Media Types, Wicked - Schwartz/Holzman, Wicked RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 18:35:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18744757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felicities/pseuds/felicities
Summary: In Idina’s mind, it lasts a lifetime.





	notes on an Out of Oz session

**Author's Note:**

> happy three years to the video that sent me spiralling down a deep dark awful hole of chenzel feelings! i literally hate myself!

i.

 

Idina removes her engagement ring, the stone sitting atop her finger suddenly a blinding, mocking weight.

 

She takes a deep breath before looking at Kristin, who already has her arms out and her megawatt smile flashing. Typical.

 

ii.

 

In Idina’s mind, it lasts a lifetime. Kristin’s voice sounds ever the same as it did all those years ago, and suddenly all of Idina’s insecurities and doubts come bubbling up to the surface: how she wishes she had taken good care of her voice, how Kristin has told her _over and over and over and over_ that all that screaming would do her no good, how Kristin—as she usually is—was right.

 

When it’s her verse to sing, no matter how much she’s prepared herself mentally, she still fucks up, _of course_ , and she wants to sink into the ground. Kristin just smiles, but Idina has known her long enough to know that in that fraction of a second it took for her to react to Idina’s wrong lyric, Kristin had already found a million things to critique. She remembers briefly why it never would’ve worked out between her and Kristin.

 

One: Idina was married. Two: Kristin was married to perfection.

 

Idina closes her eyes and she feels Kristin’s gaze burning holes into her skin. _Let this be over please let this be over please please please_ ring in Idina’s ears, almost loud enough to drown the sound of her own “untrained, neglected voice,” as Kristin had loved to say. Kristin had always known how to soften Idina, how to make her feel loved and cared for and adored, but Kristin had always been better at being Idina’s harshest, cruellest critic.

 

But when they sing together, Idina feels like they fall right into place, right into where they belong—where they’ve always belonged. Idina feels like no time has passed, like twelve years haven’t distanced them from each other. She sings most of the song like a routine: perfectly rehearsed and without thought, but for the first time in a long, long time, it feels like Kristin actually means what she’s singing, and Idina starts to mean it, too.

 

iii.

 

She closes her eyes again, and when they open, Kristin’s smiling at her, and it reaches the eyes this time, her green orbs meeting Idina’s. She can’t help herself: Idina’s gaze falls on Kristin’s lips no matter how hard she tries for it not to. Kristin tilts her head and not once does she take her eyes off of Idina, and Idina can’t bear it. She closes her eyes, she looks away, anything to get rid of the crushing weight of Kristin's stare. 

 

She holds her hand out, Kristin’s palm soft and small and perfect in hers. The song ends, and Kristin pulls their hands close to her chest, her heart—and all at once it feels like home.


End file.
